Wednesday, March 13, 2013

#FridayFrenzy Twitter Pitch Workshop - Entranced Publishing Authors Unite

Entranced Publishing has had so much fun with their first ever Friday Frenzy event, but we know some of the authors felt a little overwhelmed, having to condense a whole query down to 140 characters or less. That’s why, for the next two weeks, the Entranced Publishing authors are banding together to bring you Friday Frenzy Twitter Pitch Workshops!

First, you should check out author Louise Gornall's blog for twitter pitch tips:

Today's focus will be on ROMANCE and/or EROTICA. (Stay tuned for #SexySaturday pitches.)

Here’s how it all works:

1)     You post your maximum 140 character query in the space below using this formula:


Query(Book Blurb):
Twitter Pitch:

2)     I give you feedback on it.
3)     You give feedback to two other people who have posted their pitches – remember, what goes around comes around.

I’m not alone in hosting this workshop; some of the other lovely Entranced Publishing authors are doing it, too. So jump on over to their blogs and offer your support to Twitter pitching authors like yourself.

Let's get this party started! 


  1. The Query Line is the book blurb (what you'd find on the back of the book). :)

  2. Jennifer Rae Gravely
    New Adult
    Booze. Brawls. Breakups. For Andie Drown, the summer of 1988 had all three.
    When her mother leaves her father after seventeen turbulent years, Andie views her athletic scholarship to the liberal arts school in the city as the perfect escape from the two-faced Southern town. Then Andie falls hard for the hometown hero Stone Harrison. Their torrid relationship causes her to question what she wants from life. Does Andie know herself at all?

    1. Sounds interesting, Jennifer. Do you have any Twitter pitch ideas?

    2. The first part maybe? Booze. Brawls. Breakups. For Andie Drown, the summer of 1988 had all three.

      Tried to break the rest down into bite size pieces, but have struggled mightily. What about this:

      With her mother's defection, Andie struggles to believe in everlasting love. Then she falls for the hometown hero.

    3. What about:

      #FridayFrenzy Andie is familiar with breakups. It's time to learn about hooking up with town hero. But first, she must discover who she is.

    4. All of those are good. They capture the essence of the story.

      I really like the first three words: Booze. Brawls. Breakups. I immediately think: drama, humor (people do dumb things when alcohol is involved), tensions, misunderstandings, love, heartbreak--it gives a lot of images that would appeal to a wide range of tastes. My suggestion would be to use them.

      A couple of suggestions:

      #NA Booze. Brawls. Breakups. Welcome to Andie's life. Her escape plan is foiled when Stone Harrison enters her life. #FridayFrenzy


      #NA Booze. Brawls. Breakups. Andie's plan to escape her miserable life is foiled by hometown hero Stone Harrison. #FridayFrenzy

    5. Thanks for the awesome suggestions! Sometimes it's hard to see anything new from looking so long at the same words!

    6. No problem, Jennifer! I'm glad I could help. And I know what you mean. Sometimes you just can't see the trees through the forest. =)

    7. You're welcome Jennifer:) I like Lara's suggestions, though. I loved the booze. Brawls. and Breakup's too, but couldn't get them all three in with such short characters (Twitter characters, that is:)

      I like the 2nd one best:)

    8. You all have been busy while I work! Thanks Jennifer for visiting and sharing your pitch. Kara has already provided you with some awesome advice. I love the premise of your story. I'm all about hometown heros. :)

      When I read Booze and Brawls, I immediately thought Cowboys or Westerns. I don't think that's what you're aiming for, though, right? BUT I do like the 3 B's.

      In your pitch, you do want to add the hashtag #NA

    9. No, not a Western, but maybe a good ole' Southern tale. :)

    10. How about:

      1988. Booze. Brawls. Break ups. Andie was certain she wanted out of her two-bit hometown, until she fell for a local boy. #fridayfrenzy #NA

  3. Talynn Lynn
    The Grave Clothes Laundress
    YA Historical

    Kaleah wants to understand her boyfriend’s death and the terrifying dreams that began the night he died. Driven to discover the truth, she travels with her parents to the Ancient Egyptian ruins to investigate his last days. Walking among the labyrinth underneath the pyramids, she meets Colton, the grave keeper.

    After Colton starts talking to her in her dreams, and sending her mysterious messages about the truth her nightmares hold, she confronts him. He ignores her questions, instead offering her a job as the grave clothes laundress. As they spend more time together, roaming the pyramids and searching for clues to her boyfriend's death, Kaleah falls for Colton. Hard.

    When her dead boyfriend appears in her dreams, begging her to join him, Kaleah is torn between a love she promised till-death-do-us-part and the romance she's kindled with Colton. As long as she is by Colton's side, her boyfriend stays out of her dreams. But now someone else is in her dreams, someone who wants to hurt her. Colton knows how to stop the nightmares.

    It's as simple as dying.

    THE GRAVE CLOTHES LAUNDRESS is a mash-up retelling of Romeo and Juliet and The Phantom of the Opera set in Ancient Egypt.

    I have no idea what to use for Twitter...ANY SUGGESTIONS?

    1. Hmmm...I do like the mash-up statement.
      Death. Dreams. Desire. When Kaleah travels to Egypt, she confronts all three.
      Okay, I'll keep thinking...

    2. Wow! You've got a lot going on. Sounds intriguing. I'm dying to know....what exactly is a grave clothes laundress?

      Okay, so here are some suggestions:

      #YA Kaleah's BF is dead & she's having nightmares. The grave keeper says the only way to stop them is for her to die. #FridayFrenzy

      #YA Kaleah didn't think she'd fall in love w/ a grave keeper & become a grave clothes laundress, but when her BF dies.... #FridayFrenzy

      The most important thing to remember is to include the biggest plot point and leave them wanting to know more. If your pitch can get them asking questions, chances are good they'll ask to read more.

      Good luck =)

    3. I really like Jennifer's take on the quick twitter pitch. I'm already intrigued.

    4. All of these are great choices. Now how do I decide which to use? Thanks!!

    5. Entranced has different windows of time that they accept pitches so you can start with one and if you don't get their attention, re-pitch with a different one =)

    6. You also have me intrigued with the whole mash-up idea of Romeo & Juliet meets Phantom of the Opera. Wow!

      Love the Ancient Egyptian time period. Since she's visiting the ANCIENT Egyptian ruins, is she from NOW and goes back in time? They wouldn't be ruins if she's already in that time period. Does that make sense?
      What is a grave laundress? Is it important to the story?

      Answer the 5 W's: Who - Kaleah
      Where - bowels of the Ancient Egyptian pyramids
      When - now? Then?
      What - investigating BFs death and meets a new love, grave keeper Colton.

      Tie it all together into one fine pitch! Remember to use the BEST word choices possible.

    7. Thanks Melinda! Yes, the grave clothes laundress is very important to the plot. It's the whole story. She is the lady who washes, dyes, weaves, even designs the clothes of the dead.

      And you are right, ruins is the wrong choice of words because this is ancient Egypt time period, so it would be ruins yet.

      And there is huge amounts of swoon and kissy stuff. No hot and heavy sexy scenes, but sweet, passionate, real love:)

      The query is heavy on the dreams, but as a *spoiler alert*, kaleah learns its not dreams she's having, but real life is happening. She refuses to accept the "Romeo and Juliet" part of the story and falls for the "Phantom" part of the story. That's all I'm saying abut that!

      So, any other suggestions? Thanks for your input so far. It's been helpful!!

    8. This sounds really interesting. :)

      How about: Searching for the truth about her love's death leads Kaleah to the ruins of Eygyt and into the arms of the grave keeper. #fridayfrenzy #YA

    9. Ooooo! I really like this one, too:) Yikes, which one to choose...

    10. Hi Talynn. This is an amazing query. I'm fascinated with the grave clothes laundress falling for the grave keeper. And the end of the query, "it's as simple as dying" is incredibly powerful. The Entrancies made some awesome pitches (*waves at Ana, Kara and Melinda*) but I feel like Ana's last pitch resonates with me the most. I want to see "it's as simple as dying" incorporated,but honestly Ana's pitch is so powerful, I don't want to change a word! Well put!

    11. Ooooo! Again! (I like "oooing," btw!)

      If I could work that in, it would be awesome:)

      You guys have been a dream! Thanks so much for your advice!!

  4. Here is the basic query that I have been using for my latest book:
    Nuala Reilly
    Keeping the Women
    New Adult/Contemporary Women's Fiction

    Smart, sexy and sophisticated: meet the women of Waterton.

    In the hot, hazy summer of 1981, three mismatched friends formed a fast bond that would lash them together through the fateful years of high school and through the rest of their lives. The careful and cautious Jeanie, a born dreamer; vivacious and daring Karen, full of outward bravado that shields a very tortured heart and Victoria, whose personal tragedy gave birth to a whole new life she had never suspected was possible. Together they discover that through love and loss, marriage and divorce, children and even death, the strength of their friendship can hold them together. Even when their lives are threatening to fall apart.

    No idea how to condense this for a twitter pitch. Ideas?

    1. I simply took your last line and used it, for:

      #FridayFrenzy 3 adult friends discover the strength of their friendship can hold them together. Even when their lives are falling apart.

    2. Okay that's kind of awesome. Thank you!

    3. I agree with Ink's suggestion. The last two lines interest me more.

      Remember that Entranced Publishing needs some kissing! :) Don't ignore that part in the pitch. Also, is there a hero/heroine involved or just the three friends?

      You could work with Jennifer's concept above... choose key words to attract attention.

      Love, Loss, Laughter. 3 friends hold each other together when their lives are threatened to fall apart. #NA

      or go with your first line:

      Smart. Sexy. Sophisticated: meet the women of Waterton. 3 friends hold each other together.

    4. All super helpful. YES, there is lots of kissing, and a very specific scene where one of the girls experiences her first time. Jeanie is the glue of the friends for sure, but the story really is fairly even between the three.

    5. I like the last two lines as well, maybe combined with a quick start. Trying to decide between the 3 L's or the 3 S's. Different feel to each. Which best fits?

    6. My vote is for the 3 L's. It encompasses more aspects of the story, in my opinion.

    7. All the help and suggestions are super appreciated!!

  5. Thanks for all the help. I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment. See y'all tomorrow. #FridayFrenzy

  6. Oh, I do have a question. What if the book that I'm pitching is the first in a series? Is that necessary to indicate somewhere in the twitter pitch? Or should I semi-pitch the second book too?

    1. Great question! I'd worry about the 140 spaces being taken up. Maybe you could add that info if and once the editor requests your manuscript.

      Another option would be to hashtag #series